18 replies to this topic

[mahendra]

Dear All,

Kindly read and enjoy your self.

Good PJ's

Doctor to patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A good doctor..

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.


Hindi
Wife-Oye ji, Sunte Ho,Utho Utho,Raat ke 2 baje he.
Husband- itni rat ko Q...Uthaya Mujhe
Wife-Aap neend ki goli Lena to bhul Hi gaye..!


Hindi
Interviewer>To bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega?
Sardar>PANI nai hoga to Insan Tairega kaise? Aur Tairega nahi to doob jayega!

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
35 Children R More than Enough!!"

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

(Best one)
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said:
"Torch is okay"

Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?
Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".
(Had never thought of it)



Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE
  


Regards
E.R.Prasad ,  LIRIL



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Explore and discover exciting holidays and getaways with Yahoo! India Travel Click here!



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[Silence]

good interesting jokes

[mahendra]

vimala, on May 29 2009, 02:43 AM, said:

good interesting jokes

thanks but all hv come from some of the friends or cousins but i don't know how to search sites etc like u to explore the net the max use good happy

[mahendra]

one of the other cousin sent a joke by SMS 2 day

One young energetic man prayed to GOD sincerely & GOD told him to ask for his wishes which would be fulfilled by HIM
Boy asked him to give a big car,one big bag with money & full of girls around him to enjoy
GOD blessed him with his desires & instantly he got the job of a conductor in a ladies bus wih big bus a big bag with full of money & girls all around him!!!1

[Silence]

very smart god

[smilyflower]

vimala, on Jun 3 2009, 08:07 PM, said:

very smart god

very nice jokes friend:)
i had enjoyed bajaz also:)

[mahendra]

thanks to both of u for motivating me to post fw jokes to me Yes Bazaz joke was very satirical

[mahendra]

Sindhi: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Sindhi: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega
Sindhi:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de


Sindhi on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Sindhi:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D


Sindhi 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!


Sindhi ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Sindhi ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Sindhi:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi Sindhi ka khoon dor raha hay:)



Sindhi called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Sindhi: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Sindhi: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale ..


Sindhi ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Sindhi ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.


Sindhi ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga


Titanic K Sath Sindhi Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Sindhi: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda

--

[mahendra]

joke sent by a email friend to all good one Mr.Deepak Shah

Politically Correct Jokes


1
The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the
attack on the Pentagon:


'I'm sorry to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case
you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of
everything.'


============ ========= ========= ========= =====

2
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:


Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my
condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great
bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with
that..


Bush: What buildings? What people??


Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?


Bush: It's eight in the morning.


Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!


============ ========= ========= ========= ====

3
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
'Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?'


The barman says 'Yep, that's them.' So the guy walks


over and says, 'Hello, what are you guys doing?'


Bush says, 'We're planning world war 3'


The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'


And Vajpayee says, 'Well, we're going to kill 14


million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman.'


And the guy exclaimed, 'A bicycle repairman?!! !'


Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, 'See, I told you no-one would worry about
the 14 million Pakistanis!'


============ ========= ========= ========= =====
4

Pakistani on the moon:


Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?


A: Problem...


Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?


A: Problem...


Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?


A: Problem...


Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?


A: ....... Problem Solved!!!


============ ========= ========= ========= =====

5
A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a
little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.


He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the
dog and saving the girl's life.


A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: 'You are a
hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:


'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl'.


The man says: 'But I am not a New Yorker!'


Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:


'Brave American saves life of little girl' the policeman answers.


'But I am not an American!' - says the man. Oh, what are you then?'


The man says: 'I am a Pakistani!'


The next day the newspapers say: 'Extremist kills innocent American dog '

[mahendra]

Subject: Fwd: Funny
To:







Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ....you have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman.
Now who is Ravan????????????????


Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without brain..
Please tell them your age!!!!!!


Munna bhai: agar bina daton ka kuta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: simple, bina sui ke injection lena chahiye.


Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga , pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.


Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 maale se gir gaya tha
Banta: toh fir bach gaya ya mar gaya ?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.


Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.


In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state (brilliant answer).


INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.


Sardar starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.

Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha
Baap ne puchha 'kya kar rahe ho?'
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.



Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night
DR: take this tablet you will be ok
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match.













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Surfing the web just

[mahendra]

from a friend MR.Anupji

One  day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone  shouted....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and  said...'where?'

They walk among us!


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
While looking at a house, my brother  asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for sometime.  She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....'

They Walk Among Us!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among  Us!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car boot.

They Walk Among  Us!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
out every time she turns her head!"
I  had to explain that a person's nose and ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.
went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't  think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

[mahendra]

From a friend Dharmesh Gandhi Pune

TOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

A Gujarati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch and Gujju said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more
time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! If I
get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."

The sardaar opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get a parontha
one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his
death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as
well.


At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how
really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I
didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."


Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife.

Scroll down for her answer



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The sardaar's wife said,

"Don't look at me.

He makes his own lunch."

[mahendra]

A friend Dr.K.M.Shah sent the joke tnx




Have
> a Nice Day...........
>
>
> Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
>
> A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man
> ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on
> pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized
> that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts
> with some money.
>
> Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do
> not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with
> the money, I will certainly help you." "I would
> have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
>
> The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette
> instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from
> his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
>
> The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious
> to health."
>
> The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket
> and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy
> the stuff. It is really good".
>
> The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the
> brain and damages the liver".
>
> The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going
> to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some
> tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the
> whole amount and leave me alone".
>
> As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by
> saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as
> betting on horses is a bad habit."
>
> Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come
> to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up
> in anticipation of receiving at least something from the
> man. But he still had his doubts and asked the
> man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with
> you"...
>
> The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a
> man with no bad habits looks like."
>
> --

[mahendra]

Mr.Anupji

A girl announced to his father tht she is already engaged to a boy friend of her
Dad does tht fellow has enough money?
Gal oh all of u man has got the same Q he too asked me the same Q tht is my father has got enough money?!!!

[mahendra]

Nephew Mr.Dharmesh form Kolhapur
Santa to Banta aap english jante ho?
Banta haan
Santa Naag Pnachami ka opposite kya hota hai?
Banta Naag Do Not punch me!!!!

[mahendra]

Dharmesh Gandhi from Pune 2 day on email good one satire





dharmesh gandhi to doshirb, ηιѕнιт, me, Kirti.M.Shah, kartik.jasani
show details 1:55 PM (5 hours ago)





Oye sardarji tusi great ho..................  




Each Friday night after work, Sardar ji would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.


The aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Sardar ji and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Sardar ji attended Mass... And as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, You were born a Sikh, and raised as a Sikh, but from now, you are a Catholic."



Sardar ji's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.

The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Sardar ji's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.


There stood Sardar ji, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you were born a chicken, and you were born a lamb, you were raised as a chicken and you were raised as a lamb but now onwards you are a potato and you are a tomato.

[mahendra]

Bina from Kolkotta today night

Santa ne apne 6 months baby ke liye birth day party rakh dee
kiseene pucha ke 6 months ke baby ke liye birth day kaise?
Snata hum sememster system me mante hain or follow karte hain!!!

[mahendra]

Bina today afternoon
Teacher : Chintu tere papa shu kare chhe?
Chintu Sir Teo HDFC na malik chhe
Teacher : Vah saras pan HDFC no matlab shu thya chhe?
Chintu : Hiralal Dabeli & Farsan Centre

[mahendra]

Bina yday eing

Two sardar brothers were in the same class
Teaacher : why did u write your father's name differently?
Boys: Madamji tussi fir kahogee humne nakal mar lii