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[Silence]

Air Hostess to LALU -Sir, R u vegeterian or nonvegeterian?
LALU = I'm indan
Air Hostess - no sir R u shakahari or mansahari ?
LALU= hatt sasuri.I am bihari..

[Silence]

Bill Gates and Laloo's Meeting

Conversation between Bill Gates and our very own Laloo of Bihar

Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance
concept.

Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our
house.

Gates(Confused) : Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are
sleeping
under the net.

Gates: By the year 2000 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.

Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.

Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a
lot
about RAM and ROM.
Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly
available in
A.P..

Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system
crashes.
Laloo: I have exhuasted all my leave.

Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.

Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing).
"Windows is restarting.Please wait........ .....

[Silence]

Can't break away from TOP MANAGEMENT !!

Folks,

You just cannot flee from the clutches of TOP
MANAGEMENT and the fiction underneath stresses on
that. Read it and you would know.





Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo
Prasad Yadav were travelling in an auto rickshaw. They
met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama
Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of
death.


He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for
Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent
to HELL.


Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks
Yama as to why this discrimination is being made.


Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to
appear for an English test.


PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it
correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell
" CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".


Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says
this is not fair and that he was given a tough
question and thus forced to fail with false intent.


Having been a student of history (which the other two
weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be
subjected to a test in history.


Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and
that he would not take any more tests.


PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He
replied "1947" and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the
independence struggle?".
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3
options:
100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.


It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name
and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the
struggle. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to
HELL.




Moral of the story :

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IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS
NO ESCAPE !!!
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[Silence]

END OF LALOO



One day Laloo was travelling by his car. He was going to a village for campaigning .

Suddenly a piglet came before the car. The driver could'nt hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident.

At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset. He called the driver and said ,"Jiska ye suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon. Usko dhundke laao".

At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!!

Laloo was surprised . He asked, "Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye, aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?"

At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident . Hearing it they were rejoiced, put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some
time and gave this money."

Laloo then asked him "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bole?"

The driver replied : "Main bola, main Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon, maine suaar ke bachhe ko mar dala hai."

[Silence]

S. R. Bommai, President of Janta Dal was sitting with Laloo Prasad Yadav, Cheif Minister of Bihar. Laloo Prasad was going through his mail. 'Look at this letter!' he exclaimed, ' it is addressed to the stupidest man in Bihar.' Bommai tried to assuage the hurt feelings of the Cheif Minister. 'The man should have had better sense than to address such a letter to you.' he said.
'It's not that what bothers me,' replied the Cheif Minister, 'but the audacity of the post office to deliver it at the right address'.